Managing Your Frustrations

Unfortunately there are times in our lives where things just don’t go the way we want them to.   It is natural to feel frustrated when this happens.   But how productive is it for you to feel this way?   How much time and energy are you expending feeling frustrated?  What positive results are you deriving from this?  My guess – probably not many.   Typically what happens when we are frustrated is that we experience some self-pity that corrupts our positive attitudes and hampers our ability to achieve the results we want.  So, what can you do to protect yourself from this negative spiral spin?

• Take responsibility for what happens to you.  Don’t blame others. Learn from these setbacks.
• Make sure to set realistic expectations for yourself.  Aiming too high, that is, setting unrealistic expectations for yourself will lend you to feeling frustrated.
• Don’t expect and strive for perfection.   Focus on striving for excellence. 
• Manage your expectations as relates to others and what you expect from them.
• Maintain a positive attitude.   It is hard to feel frustrated when you have your goals in mind as well as the rewards of achieving those goals.
• Relive your past accomplishments.  Success breeds success.

Worry, Not me!

Don’t worry, be happy- how many times have you heard or even sang that song? 

Why is that so many of us worry?   Where does this worry come from?  What good does it do us?  Simply put, worrying is a state of mind, which can be also be derived from our fears (check out the last blog to learn how to eliminate fears).   When we worry we spend needless energy in a place we do not want to be in.   The more time spent talking about your worries, the more likely you are fueling them to gain greater importance in your life.   Why not work on eliminating your worries by taking control of your thoughts and begin taking goal-directed actions.   By doing this you can gain self-confidence and your ability to reason.  

So, try not to worry as much and be happier!

Keeping Fear "in Check"

As we get older we tend to lose perspective on failure.   If you recall your childhood, how many times did it take you to learn how to tie your shoes, learn to write your name in script, or ride a bike without falling?  I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you did not give up and that you are able to wear shoes with laces, know how to sign your name and perhaps even ride a bicycle.   I know it may seem like the challenges in our adult life are a bit more “challenging”; however, I would like you to keep the following in mind in trying to keep your fear “in check.”

• Fears are quite common.  We all have them.  Even the most successful individuals.   When you experience fear you are actually stretching yourself out of your comfort zone which is a good thing.
• Fears are usually unfounded.   We often believe the result of our fear can do more damage to us.    If you think through the fear, ask yourself what is the worst possible outcome if it became a reality?  Once you have identified the worst think through options to mitigate the risk.
• Fears are just thoughts in your head.   We all have the ability to control our attitude and our thoughts.   Think of what you can do to work through the fear you are experiencing.

Procrastination- what is it? Why does it exist in some of us?

In a nutshell procrastination is habitually failing to pursue the goals you have set for yourself within the time frames you have outlined.  When this happens our level of self-motivation goes down the drain.   Have you ever asked yourself what might be behind your procrastination?  Let’s face it – you made the decision to take action on something – why do you sometimes fall short of realizing the goal?  There are typically three reasons why people procrastinate:

• Laziness- Perhaps you can't reach your goal because you simply do not like what it is you have to do.  If this is the case, go back to your initial goal and assess if the rewards are greater than the consequences of not completing the goal.        
• Apathy- Is the goal you set for yourself really in alignment with what you want?
• Fear- What is it that you are afraid of?  Once you can identify the fears then they can subside because the unknown becomes a known commodity.

Knowledge vs. Applied Knowledge: The Performance Evaluation

Many people think that knowledge is power.   In my opinion having knowledge is not enough.   As Andrew Carnegie once said “Knowledge is simply potential power.  It becomes power only when it is expressed in terms of definite action.  Applied knowledge is power!”  

This is the time of year when many organizations roll out their performance review programs.   As you prepare for your discussion with your manager I would like to leave you with a thought.   The goals you set are essential for your success but until you convert them into actions they have little or no value.   Time needs to be devoted to each goal to identify the obstacles, present possible solutions and most importantly the implementation of action items.